I don't need to get a life,

Death Eaters she considers friends - Walden, Armand, Keagan, Antonin, Lucius, Peter, Ben

Is there nothing we can do for those poor children? They must be so lonely and scared, away from their families. I know they're werewolves but... well, for most of the month they are still children.

Wow. That was the most pointless thing ever. I mean, I've been to whole matches that were shorter than 36 minutes, but at least you didn't feel like they should have just finished yesterday and you woke up for nothing. At least I got to spend time with my family, I suppose. It's not like we spend time together over Christmas or anything.

Private
I can't believe my baby killed the Minister for Magic. Is it weird that there's a part of me that's proud?

Fuck, they had better get away with this.

Ben
How are you feeling, sweetheart?

Walden
Everything alright?

Narcissa
I can't keep still. Need a hand with Draco?

Private
Oh, for Merlin's sake. I appreciate he's upset, but does he have to spend the whole fortnight drunk? We could have had a lovely little break together but instead it's just mope mope mope and stomp stomp stomp and sleep sleep sleep and general idiocy.

Louisa
Take your dad somewhere. You can always get him to cheer up.

Narcissa
How is Draco doing? And you?

Private
I suppose I didn't really expect for Walden to agree with me that purism actually is a bit stupid, or at least not something worth fighting for, but... I don't know. I expected he would at least be questioning it, with Ben in danger too. But apparently not.

I need to hold my children, but I can't. They're out. They always seem to be out these days. I'd sort of like a hug from Walden, but I also sort of wouldn't. Ugh. What happened to my friends? It's been nice spending time with Narcissa - she's a lot less stuck up than I always thought she was, but she's not the sort of person I could just spring my presence on. And everyone else I know is a Death Eater. I suppose I could go and see Saraid. That's the good thing about a public house - I don't feel like I'm imposing if I turn up there.

Walden
I'm going out.

Private
I don't care if she's a Death Eater, I am close to killing that Carrow woman. Ben goes over there intact, comes back successful and still gets tortured by the Dark Lord. She needs to take responsibility for a more junior Death Eater and take it on herself. As the very least, she should stop prattling on about how the pizza here is not as round as the pizza in Italy. Stupid bint. I'm glad both of them are done at school now so I don't have to be polite to their teachers anymore, especially the ones who only got their jobs by sucking up to the Dark Lord. Hopefully he won't have to pair up with her again.

Walden
Is it really awful that there's a part of me that enjoys when Benjamin is poorly, so I get to take care of him again? He's grown up so fast.

Narcissa
Do you want to meet up again soon? I could do with some adult female company. It helps me not be bitchy to people's faces.

3 days.

I know Louisa's sad about leaving Hogwarts, and I'm sad for her, but I'm also so excited at the prospect of having all my family together and no-one needing to leave.

I feel really old today. Not because of how many years I have spent on this earth, but because I had no desire to go out or have a party or anything to celebrate my birthday.

Oh well.

I found some old photographs yesterday. It's funny to think how awful I thought I looked at the time. Now I just see how young I was. I never felt as young as I know now I looked. I knew I was a kid, but never how vulnerable that made me. I don't suppose children ever do.

Nineteen. Bloody hell.

I wonder when his birthday will stop meaning more to me than it does to him? I think it's just another day for him, but with added cake.

How do you count your wedding anniversaries if you marry then divorce and then remarry again? Is tomorrow our first wedding anniversary again, or our tenth (total number of years married) or our 22nd (years since first married)?

( Private )

Louisa
Have you got time in your Hogsmeade weekend to see your mum? We could go to the bookshop or something.

Anyone want to come round for Pancake Day?

Private
I thought the worst Valentine's Day ever would always be the year I left Walden, but apparently I underestimated just how bad a festival it could be. This year I had the same complete lack of Walden both physically and emotionally but it was coupled with abject terror at he and my son risking their lives overseas. Although apparently I wasn't terrified enough as, unbeknownst to me, Benjamin was injured and missing and did anyone tell me? No, no they did not.
I don't know if I can bear for him to go anywhere again. I can't assume no news is good news. Every day I must fear the worst has happened and it may be days until I find out.

Louisa
Ben's back. He's fine. Your dad's still out there.

Walden
When exactly were you planning on telling me?

I can't believe my baby comes of age today. Not my first baby, my real baby. Happy Birthday, Louisa sweetheart. Sorry I can't be with you, but I hope you have a good day at school.

I should probably feel old at this point, shouldn't I?

All my family at home together again finally.

Walden
I miss you.

Benjamin
Bored yet?

Lucius
I know it's been a while but I want to talk to you.

Private
Why does Ben keep going out? It's not fair. I hardly get to see him. Children just... grow up and start doing stuff without you. You become superfluous, incidental to their lives. It makes me clingier than ever. Walden's no help. He just wants to have sex all the time. Even when he doesn't say anything I know it. I can feel him in the night, pressed up against me. I can't even begin to feel aroused. It's like my baby's dying every minute, and how am I supposed to focus on anything else?

Walden
Did Ben say where he was going tonight?

Keagan
Tell me the truth. How would you feel about one of your kids becoming a Death Eater?

Private
In all his life I've never been so clingy. I hate it when he goes out anywhere, or when he stays in his room. Every hour not with me is an hour I miss of him. I just can't get over the feeling that our time together is limited. That his time is limited.

They think it's so hard for them, growing up, but they seem to manage just fine. It's we who struggle, the anxious parents whose babies aren't babies any more and who can't come to terms with not being able to protect the most precious thing in our lives.

No pressure, Ben. I'm sure work's going fine.

Benjamin
But you'd tell me if it wasn't, wouldn't you? And about the mark, if it hurts or whatever. Your dad was a right wuss when he got his.

Walden
Was it... alright, the marking thing? Benjamin hasn't really talked about it. I'm sure it's confidential and everything, but you know how I worry.

Louisa
How are classes this year? You'll be better with NEWTs than I ever was, I'm sure.